A dog

I got a dog for Christmas. In the nine months since then I have made some startling discoveries about what owning a dog (1yr old) actually means.  Apparently having a dog when you live with your parents is not actually having a dog.

Her cuteness makes up for her being a pain in the ass...sometimes

1. You never actually took care of the dog at you parents:

I'm sure you though you did, especially when you were walking the dog in 7ft snow drifts or in the rain. But that's not taking care of a dog, taking care of a dog is waking you 1 hour earlier then you have to because then dog decides she needs to go out then, or bringing your couch cushion covers to the dry cleaner because you decided to go to the bathroom before you took the dog out.

See as a child living in your parents house you only ever have to really play with the dog, sure you might have chores like walking and feeding the pup, but you can always count on your parents picking up the slack if you happen to forget to do it, or you just don't do it.

2. Cats really don't get along with dogs:

It's a stereotype that has been thriving for years and as with most stereotypes it's base in fact, Cats HATE dogs.

No Dog = Relaxed Cats

I don't think in nine months I have had a single day where I have not heard a cat freak out, chase the dog around, corner her and beat the crap out of her, requiring me to get up and break up the very one sides fight. It's all because the dog doesn't get that the cats don't like her, and actively goes out of her way to to be around them. It's funny sure, but maybe after the 20th time of getting clocked in the head by a 15lb cat (the black one) you would think twice about messing with them. Nope, so my wife and I endure the constant war zone that my 1st floor has become.

3. Puppies don't have off switches:

As a child, like I said above, you really only have to play with a dog. At that time in your life you have a huge amount of energy and time where you and the dog can explore do lots of child and dog things. As you become an adult you start to lose both time and energy, however the dog does not. Let me give you an example of my day,

1. 6am: Walk dog
2. 615-630: Feed dog and cats
3. 631: Break up first fight of the day between dog and cats
4. 635: Attempt to shower while dog throws pull toy at you
5. 645: Attempt to get ready while dog throws pull toy at you
6. 650: Break up second fight of the day between dog and cats
7. 655: Start trying to get dog in crate so house is not destroyed
8. 715: Leave for work
9. 8-5pm: Work
10. 530: get tackled by dog when entering the house
11. 531: walk dog
12. 6pm: Attempt to eat dinner while dog throws pull toy at you
13. 645: Take dog to the yard throw ball around
14. 655: Take exhausted dog inside
15. 656: Break up third fight of the day between dog and cats
16. 701: Attempt to watch TV while the dog throws pull toy at you
17. 705: Give up and play tug of war with the dog
18. 710: Feed dog and cats
19. 711: Break up fourth fight of the day between dog and cats
20. 716-8: try to tire out dog
21. 8: Walk dog
22. 830-930: Try to tire out dog
23. 930-1059: FREE TIME
24. 11pm: Go to bed
25. 1101-6am: Fight with dog and wife for covers in the bed
26. Repeat

I love my dog, I just wish someone had warned me.