My moment of shopping

I went shopping with my father today, that's always an experience. For those of you that don't know and for those of you that do I have this thing for customer service, as it is a monkey like myself has enough issues with being taken seriously, but when I'm not taken care of in a store, oooooooo you will feel the wrath of an angry poop flinging monkey.

Dear Old Dad

So I'm looking for a sleeper (you know footy PJs for my sister) and my father and I walk into SEARS. He begins to tell me that you need to think carefully about buying gifts, because many female monkeys tend to have issues with clothing (thank god I date leopard) so dad and I start looking thought the woman's sleepwear section. Now if you have ever seen monkeys looking through clothing it looks something like this. So I go up and ask the sales person where I find footy PJs. She looks at me, down at me, and I ask again, "Naked ape, where would I locate a sleeper for my 19 year old sister?" She looked at me and in a firm loud voice she said, "Monkeys don't wear clothes". I was amazed at the fact that she couldn't see that I in fact was wearing clothes, and my father who was now hanging from a LandsEnd display was also dressed. I said, "If a monkey were to wear clothes where would I find footy pajamas?" again she looked at me and said, "I'm sorry I don't understand monkeys don't wear clothes". I stood there in awe of her stupidity. "My dear mentally stunted woman, do you not see I'm wearing clothes, and so what if monkeys don't wear clothes, sell my footy pajamas you moronic wench." I threw up my hands in dis-belief, gathered my farther up and continued up the escalator. I got up stairs and found something else for my sister. Now it was time to pay, my total came out to be 81.27 (I bought a few things) and I have the clerk 81 dollars, then search my pockets for change, I have a nickel; I hand the clerk another 20 cause unfortunately ATM machines don't give singles. As she rings in 100 I find a quarter; hooray fortune has smiled on me I now have 30 cents. I hand the clerk 30 cents and she looks at me, "I already rang in 100." she said. So why can't you just give me 19 dollars and 3 cents, can't you do math? I'm a monkey and I can do math. I got $18.73 back. I looked at the woman, she looked at me, I looked back. out of the corner of my eye i say my father god bless his soul humping the leg of a near by mannequin. This hinted to me that it was time to leave, on my way out i saw the footy pajama woman again, not to let her forget me I shat in my hand and lobbed it at her.
I hate shopping.

Tomorrow: When you give a moose a muffin, you better hope you have a nice cup of joe.